The 5 most common misconceptions about child participation - and the reality behind them  

As the children's participation is gaining ground in education, health, social work and among parents, misunderstandings are growing. Hearing the idea can cause many adults - early childhood educators, teachers or other professionals - to feel a mixture of curiosity, uncertainty or even defensiveness: does this mean giving children control?  

Not at all.  

Here are five common misconceptions about children's participation, showing what they really mean with some small examples to try out. 

1. "It means letting the children make all the decisions."

This is the most common misconception. In reality, child participation means sharing decisions with the with children, and not handing over control. Adults remain responsible for ensuring children's well-being, safety and development. However, we recognise children as active agents with valuable insights. Involvement means listening to them, taking their views seriously and involving them in meaningful, age-appropriate decisions about their lives and daily routines¹. 

Let's try the following: If you are planning a change in your child's routine, such as a change in bedtime or starting a new school, ask how he or she feels about it and what might help make it easier for him or her. We still control the decision, but the child feels seen and involved. 

2. "Young children are too young to be involved in decisions."

Even the youngest children can express their preferences, feelings and intentions. An infant will turn his head if he is too excited; a toddler will point out a favourite toy; a preschooler will explain what he finds scary and why? These are all forms of participation. As children grow, their capacity for reflection and participation increases, and so do the tools to support their involvement². The key is to tune in to their individual ways of communicating and provide consistent opportunities to express them. 

Let's try the following: Let the kindergarteners vote on which story to read that day. By doing so, we encourage democratic decision-making - from a very young age. 

3. "If I give the children a say, I lose control".

In fact, the opposite is often true. When children feel that their voice matters, they tend to be more cooperative, confident and emotionally balanced. Involving them in decisions doesn't remove boundaries, but actually strengthens them by building on mutual respect and understanding. This does not mean that every single wish is granted. But if children understand how decisions are made and feel listened to, they are more likely to accept and learn from those decisions³.
Try this: when setting rules for a shared space (for example, in the classroom or bedroom), ask the children what they think is fair. Consider their suggestions and discuss why some ideas are not applicable. 

4. "Children don't really know what's best for them."

Children may not know all the answers, but they are the experts in their own lives. They know what makes them happy, what makes them feel safe or anxious, what helps them learn best. When adults combine their knowledge and experience with children's lived perspectives, it leads to better, more relevant decisions. When we exclude children from conversations that affect them, we miss opportunities for deeper connections and more thoughtful outcomes. 

Let's try the following: If a child seems unsure about a planned activity or transition, ask why. We might learn something we hadn't considered - sensory overload, anxiety, or a previous negative experience, for example - and adjust the circumstances accordingly. 

5. "It's just another fad, it won't work in real life".

The involvement of children is not a new trend. It is a fundamental right, enshrined in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child and backed by decades of research and international practice. It works best when it is embedded in everyday life: children are consulted in classroom planning, involved in household routines or given a say in decisions about their care. Participation is not one big conversation, but is built up from many small, consistent acts of inclusion. 

Try this: encourage children to work together to create a visual representation of the weekly plan or agenda. Use photographs or drawings if they can't read yet and go through the steps together. 

What is the lesson? 

Children's participation does not mean a loss of control or a reversal of roles. It means working in partnership. It means recognising that children's thoughts, feelings and experiences matter now, not just in the future. And it means taking the time to ask, listen, reflect and respond. 

When we do, we raise children who feel respected - and who become adults who respect others. 

Stay tuned if you are Playing for participation project, which supports non-formal and formal early childhood education professionals to engage children as early as possible and accompany parents and communities throughout the child's development.  

Footnotes 

1. United Nations (1989). Convention on the Rights of the Child, Articles 12-13. 

1. Lansdown, G. (2010). The Realisation of Children's Participation Rights: Critical Reflections. 

1. Thomas, N. (2007). Towards a theory of children's participation. The International Journal of Children's Rights, 15(2), 199-218. 

What is Playing for Participation? What is TOY for Participation? 

TOY for Participation is a European initiative co-funded by the European Commission and led by ICDI, which works with partners in 8 countries to promote young children's right to participation. Together, we have reached over 40 000 children and families through more than 40 play centres and the number is growing. Find out more about the about the project and partners!